How to Kill a Lion !!! The Banking Way

Banking Strategies

Proud to work in a bank !!!! check this out

Many people choose banking as their career option but a very less know how to tackle a situation so guys this is just a way a banking system frustrates you and so be aware of this and and move ahead towards a successful career.


Banking on the wrong bank

HSBC Method:

Hire a lion. Give him full rest & make him lazy,
Pay him more than his expectation, never ask him to do any work for six months,
after six months tell him that now you have to fulfill your yearly
target within six months otherwise u will be kicked out from the jungle.

Lion dies due to fear,
that if he loses this "lazy animals jungle", where he will go.

ICICI method:

Hire a lion.

Give him hell lot of work and pay him lower salary than his politically astute peers.
Restructure his job, position, boss, colleagues, designation, department, salary, location every 6 months.
Remove all lions above 40 from the organization by giving those VRS. If he kills 2 goats a day, give him target of killing 20 elephants a day, when there are just 10 elephants in the jungle.
Lion dies of exhaustion, overkill and restructuring.

HDFC method:

Hire a lion and ask him to meow like a cat.
Give him lots of ESOPs and grass to eat.

He will die eventually of hope and starvation.

Citibank method:

Hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 90% he will lose the job.
Ask him to extract 60 kg meat out of a 40kg goat.

Lion dies of the strain.

ABN AMRO method:

Hire the lion.
Give him high impossible targets and expect a premature delivery of these targets.
If the targets are delivered, clap for him in a town hall and if not delivered humiliate him regularly.

Lion either dies of excitement or starts behaving like Tom Hanks in Terminal.

StanChart method:

Hire a lion; motivate him to outshine other lions in the jungle.
Load him with impractical targets and if he finds the prey, ensure jackals in the jungle snatch the prey and

the lion dies in oblivion......

Kotak method:

Hire a lion; load him with targets to focus on value instead of volume. Every quarter change the style and make his life miserable.
If he survives in the system reward him with a hefty bonus.

RBI Method:

Hire a lion and give him a 3000 page circular on how to kill a goat. Amend the circular at least three times a day.
Send him on inspection to the jungle, where he can threaten to cancel the hunting license of any fox, wolf, bear, jackal etc who have violated any provision of the 3000 page
circular.

Lion dies of boredom.

SBI Method:

Recruits a lion, gives him the power of mouse.
Lion dies of over expectation and no results.............


IDBI method:

Recruits a lion, Give him posting among cats.
People call him manager but he is actually a clerk.
Expect to work as allrounder.

Lion dies in frustration or escape to another jungle.

Deutsche Bank Method:

Hire a Lion. Tell him that you need to work most of the day ; half the night.
Also tell him that all the Lions in the jungle are doing it ; he shouldn't mind doing it. Tell him that the work he does would make him king, even though he would be paid like a pauper.
Change the look of the jungle twice in a year ; tell him there's a new challenge for him, although the animals  trees in the jungle remain the same (beats me.......what's the challenge).
Give the Lion some irrationally motivational talks ; tell him to wait till the grass turns blue in the jungle.
Lion dies waiting.

So best of Luck Guys!!!

Cheers !!!!!!

Difference between BOSS and Great Leaders !!!

We must have noticed this and even experienced this at places where we work and many times we are not able to differentiate between a BOSS and a Good Leader

The distinction between the manager (BOSS) and leader is also about the risks (or perceived risks) that either will take. 

Managers tend to be risk-averse whereas leaders are generally more likely to take risks, although this does not necessarily make them thrill-seekers. Leaders are concerned with fulfilling their vision and therefore consider it natural to encounter problems and barriers that must be overcome along the way. They are generally more comfortable with risk and therefore accept that the direction needed to reach their vision is not always the easiest path.  A leader can turn problems into opportunities and will happily break rules in order to get things done.  Managers tend to be more focused on the status quo and will try to minimize risk.

A surprising number of leaders have overcome some form of handicap in their lives: for example, traumatic childhoods, dyslexia, and even being shorter than average. This perhaps taught them the independence of mind that is needed to do things differently, take risks, and to not worry about what others are thinking about them.

Managers have subordinates, people who work under them and follow the rules.  Leaders, at least when they are leading (many are also managers), have followers.  Following is a voluntary action and is achieved. Leaders often use transformational benefits as motivators for their followers, that is the belief that somehow the follower will become a better person for following. 

The roles of manager and leader are often blurred and, due to individual personalities and skills, it may not always be obvious who is a leader in any given situation.  

YES  but many times we have to follow the below 2 GOLDEN RULES may be not out of choice but for some other personal reason

CHEERS!!!!